Oh how my life has shifted seismically since this very same bank holiday last year. Granted Easter was a bit earlier but so much has happened in thirteen months. Last Easter Sunday I was pounding the streets in search of insecticide to tackle a woodlice infestation in the kitchen. After six hours spent sweating it out on the streets of Lytham, happening across many a closed hardware shop, I returned home with an organic crustacean killer only to find my wife chortling into her cup a soup. She had managed to sweep the 'woodlice' up with a dust pan and brush.
They weren't woodlice after all, they were merely my daughter Louise's pumpkin seeds that had spilled onto the floor, probably when she was in a rush leaving for one of her bendy Wendy yoga sessions. Quite why my wife hadn't inspected the infestation earlier was beyond me. Instead she had woken me with a blood curdling scream and demands that I go out and get something to 'kill the vermin in the kitchen'. At a glance they looked like woodlice and so I hot footed it out to the shops. Crossing His Master's Voice would have resulted in a miserable day for all.
So finding my wife smirking in the kitchen after a hard slog seeking out lice killer was really the beginning of the end of us. We'd been in the wilderness for a while and now I felt cast out in the cold. Three months later and I was out of there. I often wonder if she had set me up that day. One day I will find out,I'm sure.
They weren't woodlice after all, they were merely my daughter Louise's pumpkin seeds that had spilled onto the floor, probably when she was in a rush leaving for one of her bendy Wendy yoga sessions. Quite why my wife hadn't inspected the infestation earlier was beyond me. Instead she had woken me with a blood curdling scream and demands that I go out and get something to 'kill the vermin in the kitchen'. At a glance they looked like woodlice and so I hot footed it out to the shops. Crossing His Master's Voice would have resulted in a miserable day for all.
So finding my wife smirking in the kitchen after a hard slog seeking out lice killer was really the beginning of the end of us. We'd been in the wilderness for a while and now I felt cast out in the cold. Three months later and I was out of there. I often wonder if she had set me up that day. One day I will find out,I'm sure.
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