Susanna

In terms of quantity of dates I suppose you could say my Lonely Hearts ad has been a success. In terms of quality, well there is a lot to be desired. I met Susanna on Monday, perfectly nice woman but I am surprised she managed to leave the house let alone organise a lunch date in our local vegan cafe. It took me a good hour on the bus to get there and when I did I received a text to say she would be another forty five minutes. There was nothing to explain her late arrival other than a particularly lethargic demeanour. Judging my the state of her hair and her attire she hadn't been spending three quarters of an hour getting dressed up. Not that a woman should, but a bit of powder and lipstick doesn't go amiss. I imagine she used that time to psyche herself up to leave the house as she preceded to talk in length about her numerous allergies and phobias which would put Dr Gillian McKeith to shame. She ordered a strange smelling brown rice dish and I had a leathery bean burger, strange as it was the texture of over cooked meat. As she lurched from one downbeat topic to another I decided to draw a close to the evening with a self sent text and a white lie. As I sat on the bus home I justified my action with the thought that somewhere out there is another sad sack in organic cotton and tie dye just waiting to meet Susanna. But I can happily say that person is not me.