Weekend

Forgot to set my alarm on Saturday night and woke on Sunday to the sound of the smoke detector in the kitchen. Like most men my daughter's boyfriend struggles with multi tasking, very often trying and failing to make breakfast and use the bathroom at the same time. No sooner than you can say 'bodily evacuation' he has burned the toast and stunk out the bathroom. That is why I like to wake early, even at weekends, so I can be up and out before he makes an appearance. In a hazy state I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom, half asleep I washed and reached for deodrant to spray about me and the room to mask the funk of bodily gases and suchlike. The can was empty. My daughter's boyfriend no doubt to blame. I had no choice but to reach for a dusty old can behind the toilet and spray air freshner all over myself, feeling a tad queazy I passed on breakfast and made my way to the library wreaking of synthetic Summer Meadows.