Falling with style

I spread a little happiness as I trundled through town earlier today. It had been a busy morning at work and I was ruminating over a particularly catty comment my team leader had made in the photocopy room. I must have been so lost in my own thoughts I didn't see the uneven paving stone. Before you could say 'large queue of traffic at the lights' I was stumbling forward like a wayward shopping trolley. I must have gone a good two or three metres before I found my footing and got myself upright but the damage was already done. A queue of people at a nearby bus stop let out a mass snigger and two cars pomped their horns in delight. I even heard a young girl say to her friend 'Go and see if that old man is okay. He nearly fell.' How embarrassing!

Scrumming round the sales

I've been scrumming around the sales with my daughter this week. The shops aren't my usual stomping ground so it was rather enlightening to see fifty women rifling through two rails of glitzy and summery garments in one large fashion superstore. Even my daughter, a hardened consumer, gave up after ten minutes. As we sat down to refuel at a local cafe overlooking the high street I noticed how the number of bewildered looking men equalled the number of women with a faraway look in their eye, the same look my Ex used to get when she was planning something untoward. Not that all women shoppers are evil but they do look pensive. Like the woman who stamped on my foot and then glared at me for simply standing by the mirror, heaven forfend! No sale shopping isn't for me however I am delighted by the day-glo gym wear I managed to pick up. I'm sure I'll cut quite a dash at my gym induction this week.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year folks! My new years resolution is to come up with a contraption to catch all our rainwater and then sell it onto garden lovers in the south when this year's inevitable hose-pipe ban is announced. It's been a very wet Christmas hasn't it? I don't know which I prefer, resembling a drowned rat or looking like an elephant skidding across an ice rink. I guess rain has to be better for my coccyx than black ice underfoot.